Have you ever had a moment where you know that everything is going to go perfectly your way…and then it does not? That is how this last year has shaped up to be for me. Coming into my 26th year, I was riding a high that I never wanted to end after coming out of a tumultuous season. As I set my sights on my move to D.C., I already had a list in my mind of all the amazing places that I wanted to visit as part of my 26th Birthday Challenge to explore D.C. Usually with my challenges,  I explore for the year, then share back the journeys and lessons learned during the next year, while I have already started on my newest adventure. 

While I did start, I have a confession to make: I did not finish my list. For years 23 (seeing my favorite artists in concert), 24 (Visiting Georgia’s 7 Natural Wonders), and 25 (Exploring Black History), I was consistently able to knock out the things that I had set forth on my list and found great memories and lessons along the way. However, between a move to a new city in a new region of the country, starting a new job in a new industry (tech), attempting to survive my first real winter, the ongoing fights against racism and continued battle to exist as a Black woman, all while trying to avoid COVID, the challenge kicked off but became less relevant for me as the year went on, partially due to the needed social distancing to stay safe during COVID.

A few years ago, I adopted the mantra: “We’ll see what’s good and what’s bad.” This essentially means not making quick judgments about any scenario and watching it unfold. Seemingly bad things can end up leading to things better than we expected, and seemingly good things can end up being less than what I expect. And if I live long enough, I will see a situation turn itself over many different times. This has proven itself true over and over again throughout this year. 

While this year was initially meant to be one spent exploring a new city, it ultimately became one of me exploring and becoming familiar with myself in new ways. I was left to revisit and to also face for the first time some essential questions about and for myself. I had to look internally in a new way to ask myself some really tough questions: Am I truly trusting God to lead me like I think I am? Where do I see myself in 5 to 10 years? What type of woman do I want to become? Am I curating space in my life for the things that I think truly matter? Have I healed from my past like I thought I did? What do I want out of my relationships? When I look back at this moment in time, will I be proud of the stance that I took? Am I intentionally showing up for myself before expecting others to do so?

The questions seemed to come endlessly as I began to observe my life and my thoughts more closely with the slowed down pace of living. They challenged me to truly look deeper and think longer than just the next year.  I spent much of my time thinking, writing, praying & fasting, reading my Bible/devotionals, going on walks & drives alone, practicing physical awareness through yoga, and ultimately looking at my “whys.” I was also able to see the city in ways that I could have never  expected when I did get out. As the protests for civil rights and social justice erupted across the city and the nation, I have seen the nation’s capital through the lens of civil protest, marching for my voice and those of my people to be heard, and racial inequity, learning about D.C.’s food desserts and extreme racial wealth gap. I have learned more, grown more, and gained more  than anything I could have planned in the ways of experience, knowledge, and personal growth.

So I didn’t hit my goal in the way that I wanted this past year, but I experienced life in D.C. in a way that could not have happened anywhere else at this time. Who would have that that I would be here for a time such as this. God did, and that’s been my understanding and mood as of late. I am grateful to be here in the number. As I wrap up this year and prepare for the next, I find myself feeling stronger in my faith, confident in what Christ is leading me to, stable with myself as a person, eager and open to new opportunities and possibilities, honing in on purpose, experiencing greater peace, and excited for what is to come. With that, I am content to prepare to call year 26 a wrap with this being the year of “Lessons from the Unplanned” and look ahead to 27. I am pretty happy with the woman that I am cultivating and looking forward to intentionally sharing more of her with you! 

How have the shifts in this year challenged your previous notions of yourself? 

What are some things that you can shift your perspective on in this season?

What changes have you made to address the things most essential to you right now – whether that be physical, mental, emotional, etc.?

 When you look back at this period in time, will you be proud of your actions, words, and stances?

P.S. This year’s introspection led to some of my most reflective and vulnerable posts. Be sure to catch up on the other reflection reads from 26: 

Niagara Falls Queen to a DMV Quarantine: Making Space During Change

Breathing in the Pandemic – An Ode to Breonna Taylor

P.P.S. This does not mean that I spent my time completely void of any exploration. While I did not complete my list, I was able to discover some pretty cool places before and even a few during the pandemic, which I look forward to incorporating along with more aspects of D.C. life into future posts!