Spending most of my days at home, the COVID pandemic has given space for much more self time and reflection, both wanted and unwanted. 2020 has been a strange year to say the least – from COVID-19/coronavirus to the random murder hornets that were invading America to the racial justice reckoning triggered by the deaths of Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, and Rayshard Brooks . It has been heavy.

I have found myself in a range of emotions from frustration, to passion, to exhaustion, and everything inbetween. The death of Breonna Taylor, who was murdered in her home by police with a no-knock warrant for a crime of which she was innocent, weighed so heavily on me that even in the midst of the pandemic, I chose to attend my first protest (with mask on). It was simultaneously distopyian to see a city boarded up in the midst of a pandemic and a heavy national guard presence as well as powerful to see so many people come out despite these facts not only where I was but across the world in support of recognizing that Black Lives Matter. I carried the sign and said her name. Once I got home, I was left with the question of “What next? What else can I do? And how can I be ok in the midst of this reality?”

In the subsequent weeks, I have found myself reflecting on what I can do within my spheres of influence. Particularly as a Black woman, to see that Breonna Taylor’s case reads so clear cut to her innocence, I took the response to her murder as an assault on my own life. If this had been me, would people say my name? Tell my story? Seek justice? Say that I mattered? While I see people continuing to share her story and work to keep her name present to help get justice for her murder, it feels like the greater society is letting her slip away. As though she did not matter. As though I would not matter if it had been me. The situation of police brutality is not new, but her story continues to hurt. Reading through her old tweets and learning about her life, it was like seeing a sister. As I processed, I wrote an ode to Breonna Taylor to process and to make further sense of my own feelings, which I usually do in my private notes for moments that have touched and stay with me. 

To my earlier question of what can be done, the answer I have so far is to remember her and all those that have come before and sadly after. As we donate, call, vote, sign petitions, engage in the hard conversations, and educate on what else can be done, remember them as the “Why” and as the people behind the cries for change. Remember that they were more than just these hashtag moments. And honor them for being. So here is to remembering:

An Ode to Breonna Taylor
Breonna Taylor, 
You were born in ‘93 like me. 
You wanted to be a public servant, like me.
You loved on your friends, like me.
You sometimes found yourself tired of giving to the world without reciprocity, like me.
You gave anyway because that’s the nature of your heart, like me.
You thought 2020 was going to be your year, like me.
You are a daughter and beloved family member, like me. 
You are a Black woman, like me.
You have a story that matters simply because you are, like me. 
You are me, and I am You.
You were at home, like I am too.
You were home in your space when your life
Was taken and name vilified because of your race.
Then truth rang through that death wasn’t worthy of you.
But you still can’t breathe.
However, I can.
So I’ll breathe for you too.

How are you processing the nation’s reckoning with racial injustice?

What can you impact within your sphere of influence?

Who are you remembering and breathing for?

P.S. :

• To learn more about Breonna Taylor’s Case, check out this New York Times Article: Here’s What You Need to Know About Breonna Taylor’s Death 
• To Take Action, check out the official site supported by Breonna’s family: https://justiceforbreonna.org/
• Here are a few other organizations I support that are leading the fight for racial justice if you are looking to learn more: American Civil Liberties Union , Southern Poverty Law Center, NAACP Legal Defense Fund , The National Bailout Fund
• Update: A petition has been created for Breonna Taylor on the White House site. Please join in signing this new national petition to aid in receiving a response in her case: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/arrest-killers-breonna-taylor

P.P.S. I will also note that it was interesting to observe the amount of people who were out to protest for the Black Lives Matter cause and hand out food to the protestors. However, these same people did not acknowledge the Black homeless people that were also present along the streets on the way to the protest. If Black lives matter, then ALL BLACK LIVES MUST MATTER, including those whose other identities do not intersect with our own. We all deserve to live.